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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Part II: Reaching the Top with Colorful Lights and Sadness

Part II:  Reaching the Top with Colorful Lights and Sadness

So far up
So what does it feel like to taste your dream come true after salivating for months and months?  Well, it feels just plain old AMAZING! 

I'm pointing to Tiger' Nest
First, I started to feel nervous, as the bus got closer to the trail.  I could see this teeny tiny dot way up the largest mountain I have ever seen.  I thought, “How in the world am I going to get up there? What if I get altitude sickness again?  I don’t know if I can make it bla bla bla.”  Then the stronger part of me kicked in and said, “There is no way you are going to pass up this dream, remember how bad you wanted this, just put one foot in front of the other and you will eventually make it…” That was the only plan I had…short legs, small feet and all.

My guide-friend
It took nearly two hours to reach the top.  I took many breaks catching my breath from the high altitude and steep trails.  Sheal, an Indian BCF teacher, and I were on the same page of taking our time to ensure we made it… one foot in front of the other.  We also were the only two with hidden agendas for long breaks, which were to take turns getting fantastic pictures of each other, chitchatting with strangers, and taking in the view.  I met a photographer and writer for a France magazine on the trail and kind of stole away their assigned Bhutanese guide.  The guide was so kind helping me along the trail and answering my gazillion questions about life in Bhutan.  He became a special part of my Tiger’s Nest experience because not only did he happily and patiently take great pictures of us wink wink, he also was so informative and educated me about many issues of Bhutan like the pollution, tourism, etc.  He promised to even get me some meditating lessons from a well-known monk in my valley, so I will keep everyone updated. 

Spider Web of Prayer Flags
As we got closer to the last 15 minutes, which was the most exuberating part for me, I came around a corner of a massive spider web of prayer flags opening up to the best view of Tiger’s Nest just like I had seen in all the pictures I had obsessed over.  In this particular area, I believe that there is a climax of excited energy huddling around, deposited from people like me who are so overcome by this beautiful sight.  I can’t even begin to explain the variety of feelings that came across me.  I was washed with feelings of gratitude, happiness, love, passion, excitement... all of these feelings mixed together brought me to an elevation I have never experienced before.  I had chills all over my body and I felt like I was going to float away. 

Overlooking the View
Then out of surprise, I could feel a small dash of sadness being sprinkled on top.  I stood there overlooking what I perceived to be the most beautiful place on Earth, asking where is this sadness coming from as my eyes wealth up with tears.  Then it quickly dawned on me that I was feeling down because the people I love the most were not there to share my happiness.  Although I wasn’t physically alone, I felt alone in spirit.  I wanted my mom, dad, sister, extended family, and close friends there to pat me on the back, share some hugs, and jump around in joy with me.  I wished that they could have seen how happy I was to manifest my dream.  It’s like having all the money in the world and no one to share it with.   

Strands of Light to California
I knew that I had to shake it off because I was now satisfying a long craving and there was no room for sadness.  At that very moment, I started to feel drawn to watch the hundreds of rainbow prayer flags flapping in the wind.  Suddenly, this gave me an idea to send my positive feelings to my loved ones similarly to the way the wind carries away the prayers of the flags.  I pictured my joyful feelings as colorful strands of light flying out of my chest all the way across the ocean into California; dispersing to all the people I love.  I smiled knowing that soon they would think of me out of nowhere or feel a zap of happiness for no particular reasons once the light reached them.  I took out my camera and my guide-friend filmed a piece of this joyful moment of me for my loved ones and I no longer felt sad.  So to all my loved ones, I love you guys!

If you are able to view this video, please don't judge me because I was on cloud nine and didn't know what I was saying.  Also I had been hanging around foreigners from all over the world all day and at one point I developed a weird accent.  Just have a good laugh!


  1. This journey is my favorite so far.I love the over view and my eyes were teary when I read that yours were.But I was able to feel your sadness and then your happieness.Thanks to your great writing and descriptions we are able to see and feel your journey.Thanks for that.Miss you very much take care.Love you.

  2. Sabrina we feel all your emotions through your writings. We are always with you everyday. And that bright rainbow in the picture I just recently been getting one exactly vivid like that in the kitchen by the doors . I think you sent it to us, its been showing up and i say "Sabrina sent us this rainbow". Strands of light to california!

  3. Yaaaa I'm so glad it reached. I love you guys!

  4. it was good to hear about your positive and negative experience here in bhutan..................

  5. Thank you! 99% of them are very very GOOD:-)