Khenchen's Lecture on The Triple Gem

In one of the last Buddhist Kingdoms of the Himalayas, there are a few rare Khenchens, which is a title given to an accomplished monk with years of study beyond a PhD.  There is one particular Khenchen who I am utterly blessed to run into from time to time.  Whenever I see him, I light up because he seems so divine: an awaken mind in a human body.  He is one of those unusual people who stops me in my tracks because I instantly recognize that this is a person who is purely humble and kind; I don’t mean that he conveys these simple, yet rare qualities, but what I am trying to stress is that he seems to be these qualities.  There is something unexplainably loving and wise about him that is difficult to describe, but easy to grasp when meeting him.

So when the humble Khenchen came to my school to give a two-hour talk in Dzongkha to our students about Buddhism, I didn’t mind that I couldn’t understand the lecture.  I enjoyed listening to his kind voice and watching the students laugh at his entertaining analogies while they hung on to every word he said.  I appreciated being in a place where there was learning taking place for the simple benefit of bettering oneself, humanity and the future of all sentient beings.  As I write this, I realize that this may sound too mushy for some of my Westerner friends, but I challenge them to ask themselves, “When did I ever experience this in school or in the last several years?”  If your answer is never, I am eager to share the Khenchen’s lecture with you about how Buddhism can help relieve moments of suffering-sadness, anger, wanting, etc.

My good friend, Chimi, took notes for me and later, for several hours Chimi re-narrated the entire lecture to me (Thanks Chimi xoxo).  Although some of the lecture was lost is translation, this is the jest of what we experienced:

As the Khenchen took a seat in a big wooden chair on stage, he graciously asked Norbu the monk and my principal who were sitting on the floor beside him to please have a seat in the chairs next to him.  However, Norbu and my principal refused his kind offer because they wanted to physically sit lower than the Khenchen as a sign of respect.  After a few seconds of the Khenchen unsuccessfully trying to persuade them to sit in the empty chairs next to him, he turned to the students who eagerly awaited his wisdom and humbly said, “I am an ordinary person, don’t think because I am a Khenchen, I must be greater than you.  We are the same.  The only difference between you and I is that you were born in modern times of Internet, T.V… whereas I was born in older times.  I am sitting on the chair.  Norbu and the principal are sitting on the floor, but don’t have the notion that I am greater than them.  They are a higher learner than I am.”  Immediately, a wave of positive and loving energy filled the room from everyone who heard his words.  The students’ lips softly curled into closed smiles at the Khenchen’s humbleness, but ironically his genuine demeanor just seemed like more evidence that he was not the same as most people and the students stared at him with looks of deep reverence.

As the students intensely listened, he claimed that religion could remove one from suffering-sadness, hatred, jealousy, depression, etc.  To help the students understand how religion could do this, he wittily started off with his first analogy.  He said that a doctor, medicine and friends could help cure sickness like how the Buddha, sangha and dharma could remove suffering.  For instance, the doctor is like the Buddha (an enlighten one), the friends or relatives are the sangha (noble ones like monks, lamas, etc.), the medicine is the dharma (the Buddhist teachings about the nature of life) and the sickness is the suffering, which the combination of the three is known as the triple gem. 

He continued his claim with some humor by saying, “You are all students right now, but you don’t study.  You throw your English textbook; you don’t care about your teachers or friends.  Instead, what you should be doing is saying, ‘I love you English teacher!’  If you are not studying, you need to say, ‘I love you English textbook!’  Rather than being disrespectful to your friends, you should say, ‘Hi, I love you friends!’  The students laughed when he changed his voice to a higher pitch to say, “I love you...” and he had their attention as they wondered why they should be saying, “I love you” to their teachers, friends and textbooks.

Why? Because he said that the English teacher is like the Buddha, the textbooks symbolize the dharma and the friends represent the sangha: The Triple Gem!  Therefore, he implied that when one respects his or her teachers, textbooks and friends then one is showing respect to the triple gem.  He added that by always respecting ones teachers, textbooks and friends, then one is like a practitioner of the triple gem; it becomes part of ones living to the path of enlightenment.

Next, he gave an example of how the triple gem is often not a part of students’ everyday lives, but is only sought out in times of trouble.  First, he pointed out how one only prays out of fear when exam time comes and he exclaimed that the God couldn’t help prayers of fear.  On the other hand, he reminded the students that taking refuge in the triple gem everyday as well as respecting the triple gem throughout our life can help us.  So he advised the students that if they were not respecting the triple gem, then they needed to change their attitude, build a positive outlook about ones self and do good in life as this is also part of taking refuge in the triple gem.  In other words, taking refugee in the triple gem by being kind and respectful will help ones life/future instead of praying only when one needs help. 

He further highlighted how desire is one of the roots of sufferings taking us away from enlightenment, such as the desire for wealth and beauty.  He reminded the students that when one can’t fulfill a desire, one suffers and doesn’t get dharma.  However, he gave the students a solution to ending suffering from desire by reminding them how Buddha taught that everything relies on ones own mind and action.  The Khenchen spoke of how Buddha didn’t say, “Pray to me and I will make you enlighten,” but instead the Buddha said, “I can’t make you enlighten, but I can show you a method.  The method is always taking refuge in the triple gem.”  Thus, the triple gem ends suffering caused by desire.

In sum, he stressed that the triple gem ends suffering and leads one to the path of enlightenment; one can take refuge in the triple gem in his or her every day life by having a positive attitude and being respectful.  

Khenchen’s Lecture On Buddhism - Part II

The Khenchen

In the first half of the lecture, the Kenchen talked about how taking refuge in the triple gem removes one from suffering and leads to the path of enlightenment.  He continued the second half of the lecture about how students should use their intelligence to bring about the best, the importance of making the body a servant of the mind to better the world and lastly, he ended the lecture by answering the students’ questions (I chose a few of my favorite responses). 

First, he said that every sentient being seeks happiness, but among all the sentient beings, the human race is equipped with skills, intelligence and ideas to practice dharma and become enlighten.  He supported his claim by saying, “Airplanes and computers were invented by humans, which shows humans have intelligence.  So humans should use their intelligence to practice dharma and gain enlightenment to make a world without suffering not just for ourselves, but all sentient beings.” 

Moreover, he used his brilliant humor to explain how students should make their bodies as the servant and their minds as the master.  He used Jetsun Mila, an enlighten yogi, as a prime example of how he made his body the servant and his mind the master by wearing plain, white robes and taking mostly air as food because he didn’t treat his body with luxury.  He talked about how some people don’t do this: “If our body says, ‘Oh no, my body is feeling cold’, then we look for warm clothes or ‘Oh I’m ugly, I need make up…’ He concluded that we should not treat our body with luxury because it is impermanent; it won’t be with us forever.  So make your bodies work like a servant and kept you minds as a master.”

Next, he caused the audience to laugh by joking with them about what they should do if they fail to keep their bodies as the servant and their minds as the master.  He said, “In the morning, if you say some bad things, then as a punishment don’t brush or give food to the mouth.  

Everyday you walk to school with the help of your legs, so if you don’t do good things, then whose fault is this?  It’s your legs fault because they brought you to school!  So as a punishment to your legs for taking you to school to say bad things, then don’t put shoes on your feet to come to school. And if you continue to not respect your teachers, friends or books, then hit the leg for treating your leg with luxury: buying shoes for your legs.  After all, an animal sacrificed his life to make leather shoes and you go and be disrespectful.”  Although he was joking and the students were hysterically laughing, he had a point: the body should be used to serve the mind in making the world a better place.

Finally, he concluded with one last analogy, “Treat your body like a car or servant and the mind as a driver or master.”  Hence, the driver navigates where the car goes and not the other way around.  Then he pushed his point one step forward by saying, “After you finish your studies, your motive should not just be to get a job and earn a living.  You should contribute your car (body) for the well being of others, your parents, community and society as a whole.  The car like the body should work for the well being of all and the mind is the master behind it. 

Lastly, he held a question and answer session for the audience:

Student Question:  There are two different Gods – Gods of Enlighten beings like Buddha and Gods of the Samsaric world like local deities and guardians.  So which should we pray to more?

Khenchen’s Answer:  If your practice dharma regularly and take serious refuge in the triple gem, then the local deities or guardian’s can’t harm us because our minds are the masters.

Student Question:  Why do some people say we have to hold the rosary in the left hand?

Khenchen’s Answer:  There is nothing wrong or right with holding the rosary in either hand.  Holding the rosary while saying Om Mani…, is just to help control our minds.  If you can control your mind on your own, then you don’t need to hold a rosary in either hand unless you want to.  If you can control your mind, you can hold the rosary in your foot (lots of laughter).  People are the ones who made up how to hold the rosary.  The rosary’s aim is just to help you control your mind. 

Student Question:  In one of the Buddhism prayers it only addresses the mother? Why not the father too?

Khenchen’s Answer:  Because Buddha only liked his mother (another wave of laughter).   I’m joking!  There isn’t a single mother who hasn’t been a father and there isn’t a single sentient being who hasn’t been a mother and so on.  The mother is known as the caregiver who loves us whether in good or bad, but the father is also there too.  Don’t get caught up in whether it addresses a mother or father because everyone has been a mother in the past.    

The Khenchen continued to answer numerous questions with more humor and he ended with a beautiful prayer.  When it was over we were sad to see him go.  We walked him to his car and he drove off alone without an entourage or a personal driver.  He left the students feeling humbled, inspired, reinvigorated... 

The Khenchen ending the lecture with a prayer

A Khenchen's Great Advice About Life

A VIP MONK

Norbu and I

On the last day of Losar, my monk friend, Norbu, took the initiative to give me one last tour of their home Village, Gangtey, during the day while Sonam was busy.  I was so thrilled that I had Norbu to take me under his wing because I quickly realized that “My Norbu” (when I call him “My Norbu,” he blushes) was like the “it guy” of the village.  I chuckled watching Norbu stroll down his village because he looked like VIP status in the monk world; everyone who saw him coming along were so eager to greet him and he always had someone to introduce me to.  Furthermore, whenever I would say, “Norbu can you get me into there or can we do this…” he would joke with me by saying “with Norbu anything is possible.”  The way I was galloping behind Norbu following him into beautiful Buddhist institutions that I couldn’t see myself being invited into without him, made me giggle thinking that there was such a thing as a VIP monk.  However, Norbu is extremely humble and it would never occur to him that one would perceive him as a VIP monk. 

THE UNIVERSE MOVES YOU ON…

My Norbu

Gangtey Monastery

Once the afternoon was over, we all gathered at Sonam’s mother’s house to say our goodbyes.  I felt a little sad to leave Gangtey Village behind because I had quickly bonded with Sonam’s family and I had somehow planted a little bit of my soul in the valley of million dollar views, but I knew that this was just another aspect of life.  Just when you start to feel all comfortable, the universe moves you on.  I gave everyone a hug goodbye while saying kadrinchela (thank you) a hundred times.  My eyes grew a little teary wondering if I would ever see them again.  Losar is a time you spend with your loved ones and they had warm heartedly made me felt like I was part of their family.  I didn’t speak Dzongkha and some of them didn’t speak English, but I had somehow made them laugh and we communicated through many different ways.  It’s amazing how when your heart is fully open, you can make connections with others in a very short period of time.  A genuine smile is not just a smile, but it’s a message of a thousand kind words.  A bowl of rice topped with ezay (chili) is not just food, but it’s a gesture of care and generosity.  I felt gratitude towards Sonam for sharing her family with me and I managed to let the universe take its course without the teardrops.

Sonam's Mini Car

As we got ready to jump into the car to leave, I was surprised to discover that we had two new people coming back with us to Chumey Village:  Sonam’s monk brother, Dorji, was coming for a week visit and her niece, Dawa, was coming to live with Sonam while Dawa attended high school in Chumey.  I tried to look like the extra load of passengers was no big deal as I was thinking, what? Is Sonam playing a joke on me?  How are six people going to fit in Sonam’s mini car with all the bags?  I’m so embarrassed that I brought the most luggage.  Why did I pack so much? We can’t see out the back window.  This is going to be a long 5 hours.  However, we managed just fine with myself, Sonam, Dawa and little Jimmy spread across our laps in the back seat.  I was so grateful for the adventure that I didn’t mind being sandwiched or the over spilling luggage from the trunk that would fall on my head.  Monk Norbu did his best driving carefully while Monk Dorji sat shotgun with more luggage.  The squishy car ride was actually a lot of fun filled with laughter.  Everyone sang along to trendy Bhutanese music and I joined in by humming the melodies.  Now I laugh at my initial thoughts because I realize that if one of those five people wouldn’t have been in that car on the drive back, then the road trip wouldn’t have been the same fun memory. 

THE KHENCHEN’S ADVICE: Be Humble, Compassionate and Friendly

Four of us in the back seat:  Tea and cookies

On the way home, we got stuck in an hour roadblock along with every other car that was heading west.  The roadblocks can be found throughout Bhutan because its widening parts of their narrowest roads.  So on the side of the road, we ate cookies and drank tea that Sonam’s mother had packed for us.  Then we walked around the road to stretch our cramped legs.  As I was people watching and filming the action of the roadwork, I noticed that there seemed to be a lot of monks around and after being surrounded by monks for the last three days, this had become my new norm.  However, when I Sonam and the others saying hello to a group of monks, one particular monk grabbed my attention like a rare pink diamond.  I immediately felt compelled to move in his direction; he was a magnet pulling me closer.  Although he looked like any other monk, I couldn’t take my eyes off his face as I studied every single feature:  round bald head that was neatly wrapped in a burgundy cloth, pale slightly aged skin, high check bones, almond shaped eyes and big, beautiful pink lips.  Then when he said hello to me, the kindness in his voice memorized me even more than his loving face and I was fully captivated by his presence. 

As I basked in his aura, I had a knowing that this was no ordinary monk.  I thought, what is it that is so extraordinary about this monk?  There was something about him that was so friendly, gentle, enthusiastic, loving and every other positive emotion in this world.  I immediately felt an urge to ask him a million questions because I sensed that within him lay the answers to all the things I often enquiry about life:  What is the meaning of life? Why do people die? What does every human being need to know? etc.  I found myself scooting closer and closer to him and I thought, his energy feels so amazing! Is this what it feels like to be in the presence of a divine soul?  I have read about how some people experience a natural high, an increased level of consciousness or are even brought to joyful tears when they are in the presence of Gurus or enlightened people, but I had never known what that felt like until I met him. 

By now I couldn’t take it anymore and I whispered to Sonam, “Who is this guy and how do you know him? He seems so unique.” 

She whispered back, “He is a Khenchen and I know him because he used to be the principal in the 

Buddhist institution in my village...”

Completely clueless I asked, “What’s a Khenchen?”

“A Khenchen is a big title for a monk.  Very important!  It’s like higher than a doctorate degree…” She responded in the faintest voice that I decided not to ask any more questions until later.

My desire to plunge into the Khenchen’s wisdom and pick apart his brain must have been so intense because eventually he couldn’t ignore my radar eyes and smile that screamed “talk to me please.”  Finally, he turned his attention to me and asked me how I felt in Bhutan and if I felt like an alien being in another country.  I admitted that sometimes I felt a little alien-like because at the time I was still getting use to squatter toilets, bucket baths and no freeways.  I also highlighted that being an “alien” was great because I was experiencing beauty with fresh new eyes. 

Since the Khenchen asked me a question, I jumped on the opportunity to ask him a question about life in general.  I asked him if he could say one thing about life, what great advice could he give me.  In the most sincere voice he said that the best advice that he could give me was to be humble, compassionate and friendly with everyone.  I was so giggly and joyful to receive the simplest advice from a wise soul that I gave the Khenchen a big hug joking that I had friendly and compassionate down; two out of three.  Then feeling a little guilty, I admitted that I needed to work on being more humble and letting go of the ego.  It was something that hadn’t crossed my mind in a long time and so now this was going to be my new quality that I was going to work on while in Bhutan.  

Furthermore, the Khenchen turned the tables on me and asked me to give him some advice about life.  So to add some humor before my real advice cam pouring through, I jokingly advised him to give up doma.  Doma is a beetle nut wrapped in beetle leaves with lime, which is like the chewing gum of Bhutan.  My Bhutanese friends say that it keeps them warm and it’s really addicting.  The thought of the Khenchen, giving up his beloved doma was hysterical and it was one of those moments you had to be there in order to join in some hard laughter.  However, after the laughter died down, I gave him my “real” heartfelt advice.  I didn’t give him advice about what I had read or what others had preached to me.  Instead I shared with him what I was consciously going through during that particular time in my life.  From the rawest part of my heart, I said, “My real advice to you is what I am learning, which is to go with the flow; the flow of life. To go where life takes you on your journey.  And not fight it or have fear and get stressed out.  To just go with the flow!”  The Khenchen said that this was one of the teachings of the Buddha and I claimed that I was a Buddhist at heart.  Then Sonam predicted that I would go back to America as a Buddhist and we all laughed.  

My Beloved Picture with the Khenchen

Just when I was about to flood him with more questions about life, the road reopened and everyone started to run to their cars like they were in a race for their life.  However, instead of running, I whipped out my camera and I screamed, “Sonam, wait, please just take one picture of me with the Khenchen.  Pleassseee!”  She yelled back that there was no time and to run.  Then I pleaded that I had to have a picture incase I never saw him again and I threw the camera in her hands.  Sympathizing with my desire, she snapped a quick picture and announced that I would see him in the morning because she had invited him over for breakfast before he passed through our village.  I was beyond thrilled knowing that I would have a second chance to bombard this man with lots of fun questions (my next blog). 

Then we all ran back to our cars to partake in the mad race of getting on the road first and leaving the other cars in the dust.  However, my “need” to take a picture with the Khenchen’s kind face made our car lose as well as all the other cars that couldn’t fit around us.  Since the roads are not that wide yet, we ended up in a frantic traffic jam with the on coming cars that were on the other side of the roadblock.  It was like a disorganized game of random honking and who could inch the closest between our car and the edge of the cliff.  Now I understood why everyone was running; they wanted to be the first out so they wouldn’t get stuck in an inevitable jam.  Whoops!  Sorry!  (It’s my favorite picture though.)

Once we got through the traffic jam, I found myself still in awe with the presence of the Khenchen.  I spent some time looking out the window thinking about what I had experienced upon meeting the Khenchen.  I thought a lot about how some people give off a spark of loving energy that made others feel tingly and made everyone want to be around them.  I wondered how I could constantly cultivate that loving energy to be more like the Khenchen; to make others feel good in ones presence with or without words.  I thought about how important it was for teachers to have this type of energy that made their students want to huddle around them to learn from them.  So I silently repeated in my head…be humble, compassionate, friendly, be humble, compassionate, friendly…