How did I end up in Bhutan?

Loving Bhutan

I often contemplate on how I ended up in Bhutan, which never fails to bring a smile to my heart.  I decided to blog my little inspirational story, as my last blog about Bhutan before I start sharing a bit of my experiences in India.  While I was writing the last sentence of this blog entry into my journal on a train to Delhi, three Bhutanese college students randomly peeked their heads through my curtains and to their surprise they saw some pictures of Bhutan on my travel partner's laptop.  After a few minutes of chatting, they asked me, "How did you end up in Bhutan?"

I started laughing saying, "Funny you ask because I just wrote about it in my journal."  I explained how one evening about three years ago, I was curled up in bed flipping through the channels when I came across a documentary about a Buddhist monk looking for his master teacher who reincarnated somewhere in the Himalayan mountains.  There was something about the Buddhist monk trailing along isolated footpaths  searching in and out of remote villages that made my heart flutter.  Instantly, I fell in love with the scenery of the Himalayas and I became mesmerized by Buddhism. 

Then I became even more fascinated when the following program was about the Kingdom of Bhutan, which is a Buddhist country nestled in the Himalayan mountains.  I had never heard of Bhutan and I felt like I had just discovered the world's best kept secret:  The last Shangri-La. 

My heart fermented with a deep longing to one day step foot in this Kingdom of Happiness.  My desire was so strong it bursted through my chest with pain from the thought of never seeing it in person; I was committed to a Masters in Teacher's Education Program and I thought that there was no way I could ever go.  It seemed too far out of my reach.  However, I didn't understand the power of love.  I didn't know that I lit a little flame inside me so bright that it would never die and from that moment on, with each beat of my heart, I was just one more heart beat away from living my new dream.  

As weeks turned into months, slowly I forget about Bhutan and I got swept away with the routines of life.  A few years later, I had successfully completed my Master's Degree and was teaching summer school.  Unfortunately, the tidiness of life had swept away Bhutan from my memory!  Then one day, I found myself siting at my desk during lunch feeling like I was not living my destiny although I had no idea what my destiny could be.  Just then, suddenly I felt an urge to type in the computer "teach abroad."  Following my urge, I came across a website that advertised to teach in Spain, Europe, etc. With each glance at the names of the different countries, I felt nothing and said  "na, na, na."  

Finally, I saw the word, Bhutan, among a dozen of other countries and I felt a wave of energy run through me.  My head tilted to the side as I thought, Hmm that sounds familiar, I think that I have herd of that country before.  Immediately, I clicked on it and it took me to the Bhutan Canada Foundation (BCF) homepage, which just so happened to be hiring teachers to teach in Bhutan.  As I saw the pictures of Bhutan, a floodgate of the love I once felt when I first saw it several years before came pouring back.  Once again, I felt that burning desire of flame grow even brighter than before as I whispered to myself, "I know that place!"  

I applied right there and then!  The next day I got a call for an interview.  A few interviews later, I was hired and re-arranging my life to head half way around the world.  When I got to Bhutan, I learned that out of 250 applications and 100 skpe interviews, I was one of 18 teachers selected from around the world boarding an airplane to Bhutan.  

My point is not to brag because I don't believe that there was anything special about me that got me selected over others.  Instead my point is to share that I believe I made it to Bhutan despite the odds because of the power of love for a dream; when you feel a calling to do something or when you feel that your heart is lit with a burning desire, faith can move you in directions that we can't always see.  Then at the right moment, our dreams may manifest with an open heart that is willing to jump into the unknown.  For instance, I was terribly nervous to leave behind my sweet life in San Diego all to follow a nagging calling to teach in Bhutan and now in hindsight, I'm so happy that I followed my heart because I was led to the most beautiful experience of my life.  It was beyond what I had ever dreamed could be possible.  The scenery was breathtaking,  I made amazing friendships, my heart was touched by the sweetest children and Bhutan stretched the depths of my perceptions.

Thus, when my teaching contract was coming to an end, I wasn't quite ready to leave, but I felt that I had reached a personal growing capacity.  I felt like I was being drawn to the next phase of my path:  learning about Buddhism.  So when the Rimphoce of Gangtay personally asked me to teach the nuns at his Pema Choling nunnery in Bhutan (which is another story), I couldn't resist to have one more magical experience in Bhutan.  I'm thrilled to report that after my travels in India, I will be returning in the spring to to live and teach in a Buddhist nunnery for six months.  I can't wait to see what Bhutan has in store for me next.  

My Best Friends in Bhutan

One of my favorite memories:  My girls having a slumber party at my home on the last day of school

Dinner

Stickers 

Sleeping Time

See ya later

Khenchen's Lecture on The Triple Gem

In one of the last Buddhist Kingdoms of the Himalayas, there are a few rare Khenchens, which is a title given to an accomplished monk with years of study beyond a PhD.  There is one particular Khenchen who I am utterly blessed to run into from time to time.  Whenever I see him, I light up because he seems so divine: an awaken mind in a human body.  He is one of those unusual people who stops me in my tracks because I instantly recognize that this is a person who is purely humble and kind; I don’t mean that he conveys these simple, yet rare qualities, but what I am trying to stress is that he seems to be these qualities.  There is something unexplainably loving and wise about him that is difficult to describe, but easy to grasp when meeting him.

So when the humble Khenchen came to my school to give a two-hour talk in Dzongkha to our students about Buddhism, I didn’t mind that I couldn’t understand the lecture.  I enjoyed listening to his kind voice and watching the students laugh at his entertaining analogies while they hung on to every word he said.  I appreciated being in a place where there was learning taking place for the simple benefit of bettering oneself, humanity and the future of all sentient beings.  As I write this, I realize that this may sound too mushy for some of my Westerner friends, but I challenge them to ask themselves, “When did I ever experience this in school or in the last several years?”  If your answer is never, I am eager to share the Khenchen’s lecture with you about how Buddhism can help relieve moments of suffering-sadness, anger, wanting, etc.

My good friend, Chimi, took notes for me and later, for several hours Chimi re-narrated the entire lecture to me (Thanks Chimi xoxo).  Although some of the lecture was lost is translation, this is the jest of what we experienced:

As the Khenchen took a seat in a big wooden chair on stage, he graciously asked Norbu the monk and my principal who were sitting on the floor beside him to please have a seat in the chairs next to him.  However, Norbu and my principal refused his kind offer because they wanted to physically sit lower than the Khenchen as a sign of respect.  After a few seconds of the Khenchen unsuccessfully trying to persuade them to sit in the empty chairs next to him, he turned to the students who eagerly awaited his wisdom and humbly said, “I am an ordinary person, don’t think because I am a Khenchen, I must be greater than you.  We are the same.  The only difference between you and I is that you were born in modern times of Internet, T.V… whereas I was born in older times.  I am sitting on the chair.  Norbu and the principal are sitting on the floor, but don’t have the notion that I am greater than them.  They are a higher learner than I am.”  Immediately, a wave of positive and loving energy filled the room from everyone who heard his words.  The students’ lips softly curled into closed smiles at the Khenchen’s humbleness, but ironically his genuine demeanor just seemed like more evidence that he was not the same as most people and the students stared at him with looks of deep reverence.

As the students intensely listened, he claimed that religion could remove one from suffering-sadness, hatred, jealousy, depression, etc.  To help the students understand how religion could do this, he wittily started off with his first analogy.  He said that a doctor, medicine and friends could help cure sickness like how the Buddha, sangha and dharma could remove suffering.  For instance, the doctor is like the Buddha (an enlighten one), the friends or relatives are the sangha (noble ones like monks, lamas, etc.), the medicine is the dharma (the Buddhist teachings about the nature of life) and the sickness is the suffering, which the combination of the three is known as the triple gem. 

He continued his claim with some humor by saying, “You are all students right now, but you don’t study.  You throw your English textbook; you don’t care about your teachers or friends.  Instead, what you should be doing is saying, ‘I love you English teacher!’  If you are not studying, you need to say, ‘I love you English textbook!’  Rather than being disrespectful to your friends, you should say, ‘Hi, I love you friends!’  The students laughed when he changed his voice to a higher pitch to say, “I love you...” and he had their attention as they wondered why they should be saying, “I love you” to their teachers, friends and textbooks.

Why? Because he said that the English teacher is like the Buddha, the textbooks symbolize the dharma and the friends represent the sangha: The Triple Gem!  Therefore, he implied that when one respects his or her teachers, textbooks and friends then one is showing respect to the triple gem.  He added that by always respecting ones teachers, textbooks and friends, then one is like a practitioner of the triple gem; it becomes part of ones living to the path of enlightenment.

Next, he gave an example of how the triple gem is often not a part of students’ everyday lives, but is only sought out in times of trouble.  First, he pointed out how one only prays out of fear when exam time comes and he exclaimed that the God couldn’t help prayers of fear.  On the other hand, he reminded the students that taking refuge in the triple gem everyday as well as respecting the triple gem throughout our life can help us.  So he advised the students that if they were not respecting the triple gem, then they needed to change their attitude, build a positive outlook about ones self and do good in life as this is also part of taking refuge in the triple gem.  In other words, taking refugee in the triple gem by being kind and respectful will help ones life/future instead of praying only when one needs help. 

He further highlighted how desire is one of the roots of sufferings taking us away from enlightenment, such as the desire for wealth and beauty.  He reminded the students that when one can’t fulfill a desire, one suffers and doesn’t get dharma.  However, he gave the students a solution to ending suffering from desire by reminding them how Buddha taught that everything relies on ones own mind and action.  The Khenchen spoke of how Buddha didn’t say, “Pray to me and I will make you enlighten,” but instead the Buddha said, “I can’t make you enlighten, but I can show you a method.  The method is always taking refuge in the triple gem.”  Thus, the triple gem ends suffering caused by desire.

In sum, he stressed that the triple gem ends suffering and leads one to the path of enlightenment; one can take refuge in the triple gem in his or her every day life by having a positive attitude and being respectful.  

Khenchen’s Lecture On Buddhism - Part II

The Khenchen

In the first half of the lecture, the Kenchen talked about how taking refuge in the triple gem removes one from suffering and leads to the path of enlightenment.  He continued the second half of the lecture about how students should use their intelligence to bring about the best, the importance of making the body a servant of the mind to better the world and lastly, he ended the lecture by answering the students’ questions (I chose a few of my favorite responses). 

First, he said that every sentient being seeks happiness, but among all the sentient beings, the human race is equipped with skills, intelligence and ideas to practice dharma and become enlighten.  He supported his claim by saying, “Airplanes and computers were invented by humans, which shows humans have intelligence.  So humans should use their intelligence to practice dharma and gain enlightenment to make a world without suffering not just for ourselves, but all sentient beings.” 

Moreover, he used his brilliant humor to explain how students should make their bodies as the servant and their minds as the master.  He used Jetsun Mila, an enlighten yogi, as a prime example of how he made his body the servant and his mind the master by wearing plain, white robes and taking mostly air as food because he didn’t treat his body with luxury.  He talked about how some people don’t do this: “If our body says, ‘Oh no, my body is feeling cold’, then we look for warm clothes or ‘Oh I’m ugly, I need make up…’ He concluded that we should not treat our body with luxury because it is impermanent; it won’t be with us forever.  So make your bodies work like a servant and kept you minds as a master.”

Next, he caused the audience to laugh by joking with them about what they should do if they fail to keep their bodies as the servant and their minds as the master.  He said, “In the morning, if you say some bad things, then as a punishment don’t brush or give food to the mouth.  

Everyday you walk to school with the help of your legs, so if you don’t do good things, then whose fault is this?  It’s your legs fault because they brought you to school!  So as a punishment to your legs for taking you to school to say bad things, then don’t put shoes on your feet to come to school. And if you continue to not respect your teachers, friends or books, then hit the leg for treating your leg with luxury: buying shoes for your legs.  After all, an animal sacrificed his life to make leather shoes and you go and be disrespectful.”  Although he was joking and the students were hysterically laughing, he had a point: the body should be used to serve the mind in making the world a better place.

Finally, he concluded with one last analogy, “Treat your body like a car or servant and the mind as a driver or master.”  Hence, the driver navigates where the car goes and not the other way around.  Then he pushed his point one step forward by saying, “After you finish your studies, your motive should not just be to get a job and earn a living.  You should contribute your car (body) for the well being of others, your parents, community and society as a whole.  The car like the body should work for the well being of all and the mind is the master behind it. 

Lastly, he held a question and answer session for the audience:

Student Question:  There are two different Gods – Gods of Enlighten beings like Buddha and Gods of the Samsaric world like local deities and guardians.  So which should we pray to more?

Khenchen’s Answer:  If your practice dharma regularly and take serious refuge in the triple gem, then the local deities or guardian’s can’t harm us because our minds are the masters.

Student Question:  Why do some people say we have to hold the rosary in the left hand?

Khenchen’s Answer:  There is nothing wrong or right with holding the rosary in either hand.  Holding the rosary while saying Om Mani…, is just to help control our minds.  If you can control your mind on your own, then you don’t need to hold a rosary in either hand unless you want to.  If you can control your mind, you can hold the rosary in your foot (lots of laughter).  People are the ones who made up how to hold the rosary.  The rosary’s aim is just to help you control your mind. 

Student Question:  In one of the Buddhism prayers it only addresses the mother? Why not the father too?

Khenchen’s Answer:  Because Buddha only liked his mother (another wave of laughter).   I’m joking!  There isn’t a single mother who hasn’t been a father and there isn’t a single sentient being who hasn’t been a mother and so on.  The mother is known as the caregiver who loves us whether in good or bad, but the father is also there too.  Don’t get caught up in whether it addresses a mother or father because everyone has been a mother in the past.    

The Khenchen continued to answer numerous questions with more humor and he ended with a beautiful prayer.  When it was over we were sad to see him go.  We walked him to his car and he drove off alone without an entourage or a personal driver.  He left the students feeling humbled, inspired, reinvigorated... 

The Khenchen ending the lecture with a prayer

Spread The Heart Advice of the Khenchen

Turning 30 in Bhutan

After the Khenchen (wise monk) explained to me that worrying about getting older was useless thinking, I felt a little guilty about how I wasted precious time entertaining silly thoughts instead of making more of a difference in the world.  I knew that he was right about how one should be grateful for being a human being with fascinating body parts like eyes to experience the world.  I also couldn’t have agreed with him more that since the God blessed us as a human being, our job was to be of service to others.  Everything that he said rang a bell of familiarity to me.  I knew this wisdom when I was a child, so how did so many others and I forget this sacred truth?  How could my friends and I internalize his advice about worrisome thoughts of getting or looking older while we live in a society that advocates looking younger?  How could I get back to this place of honoring/appreciating the body and focusing more on helping others?    

So as my thoughts swam around, I pushed the matter forward to the Khenchen.  I stated that I intellectually understood that my mind created the unhappiness about turning 30 and I got that a number was just a number.  However, I pleaded that it was so hard to let it go, especially when you live in a society that favors looking young, which is usually associated with beauty.  I gave him examples about how in America some of the media advertised special creams or plastic surgery to make one look younger or more beautiful.  I claimed that in my opinion some people felt pressure to look younger to the point of injecting botox in their beautiful faces and it seemed that most people in general don’t want to grow old.  My point was when a person faces daily media advertising ways to look younger, how could a person “let go of the number/age” or worrisome thoughts of getting old so that they could concentrate more on helping others?

Khenchen

He continued to stress that these were all useless thoughts and that since the God made up our body and intelligence, then everything about our physical make up was wonderful.  Thus, he concluded that people worrying about the way they look and trying to alter their appearance were like insults to the God who made them.  In other words, one is perfect the way one is because God made him/her that way; anything that God makes is perfect because it comes from a loving source.  He said that if people worry about changing their looks then the God would cry: “Because I made you, you must save the world.  You must save the environment.  You must teach kindness to the people. Why do they think that after I made them?”  He said that people forgot that concept and we were only thinking about our life or our age.  Once again he reinstated that worrying about looking younger or getting older was useless thinking and a completely wrong way to think. 

Then, being the funny man that he is, he paused to decide how to tease me a bit.  He joked that since I had thought that 30 was such a big number, then I must have surely thought that he was old.  Like magic there was a cloud of laughter in the room as I swore that I didn’t think he was old.  Not only do I love the Khenchen’s wisdom and kindness, but I also love his humor.  Half joking and half serious, I told him that we needed him to call up some of the advertisement companies and commercial agencies to preach his wisdom on T.V. (to decrease suffering, to add more humor and to spread more compassion in the world).

Even though he was giving me some serious advice, we laughed a lot and the atmosphere was fun.  I was so pleased that his advice made perfect sense and I did my best to sum it up, but that led me to another grueling thought:  Hmmm if I am going to forget the number/my age, how do I celebrate being thirty? Ahhhh should I celebrate my birthday?

I'll be meditating somewhere in the Himalayan Mountains

Sure enough, he suggested that I should forget about my birthday, forget about my age and not talk about it. WOW!  FORGET ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY! MY 30^th BIRTHDAY! This was a huge blow to my usual costume.  I have had some pretty lavish parties in the past and I always thought that my 30^th birthday would be the grandest.  It made me realize how much I have changed while in Bhutan.  In the past, I used to picture myself having the most impressive celebration for my 30^th birthday in Las Vegas, but now it turned out that on my birthday I would be practicing humbleness and meditating on compassion somewhere in the Himalayan Mountains.

"Little Sabrinas" celebrating a birthday in Bhutan

He made it all sound so easy as he claimed that when people asked him his age, he had to count the years because he had forgotten how old he was.  My friend Sonam says that this is not abnormal in Bhutan; most Bhutanese people don’t celebrate their birthdays and some people don’t know their date of birth.  So this makes it easy for them to forget about their birthdays or how old they are.  As a result, they don’t seem to worry about their age or getting older.  Therefore, she thinks that it is hysterical that I have been complaining about turning 30, especially since she will also be turning 30 and she sees it as just another number or day.  It shows the differences in our cultures.  However, Sonam and I joke that since some of the new generation of youth is taking on the Western tradition of celebrating their birthdays and since television/advertising is entering more homes, then the new generation may turn into little Sabrinas not wanting to turn 30.  Although we laugh at this thought, I cringe and hope that there will be more Khenchens around spreading the wisdom of the Buddha. 

Like prayer flags spreading prayers in the wind
let's spread the heart advice of the Khenchen

Moreover, as the conversation came to a closing with the Khenchen, he shared with me one last simple, yet powerful thought.   He told me to always think that I was like a beautiful sixteen-year-old and to meditate upon it to the God.  Thus, I would become that: young and beautiful looking.   Finally, I understood what he meant when he claimed that people saw him as an eight-year-old child regardless of what age he was.  Why?  How?  He reflects youth and beauty because that’s how he views himself; one’s internal thoughts reflect outward. 

There is no doubt that the Khenchen is a beautiful person inside and out.  When I first asked him to give me advice about turning thirty, I never expected him to suggest that I should appreciate being human, concentrate on making differences in the world and forget about my birthday or age, etc.  Overall, this was amazing advice and I have more to share from him.  His wisdom shows that he is full of love.  Therefore, as my friend Pema says, “Let's spread the heart advice of the Khenchen…”

SUMMARY OF THE THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE KHENCHEN:

1.     Let the age/number go as well as the worries about looking older because these are useless thoughts that doesn’t serve any sentiment beings. 

2.     Regardless of what one looks like or how one ages with time, remember that it’s all a gift from the God that should be appreciated.

3.     Eyes, teeth, intelligence etc. are all precious gifts from the God.

4.     Everyday realize that one’s body is a wonderful gift. 

5.     People should try not to concentrate on trying to make themselves more physically beautiful or altering their body or face because it’s like an insult to the God that made them. 

6.     Everything that the God made is perfect, beautiful and wonderful. 

7.     One should try not to fall into the trap of trying to change oneself to look how society or others might want him/her to look like.  It’s all useless thinking.

8.     If a person thinks beautiful thoughts about himself/herself, then those positive thoughts will reflect out and others will perceive him/her as beautiful.  How one perceives oneself is how others will see him/her.

9.     People are here on Earth to make the world a better place. 

10.  One’s purpose in life is to care for mother Earth, to help others in need, to help the next generation, to be concerned with our next life, to practice compassion, to teach kindness and to have only kind thoughts for others.